chasing pavements

I wanna go away from here, a place where nobody knows me. My past, family, friends, just need a fresh start .March has come to an end, it was a sweet bitter way to closure and taught me a lesson How am I suppose to believe a lie hold on let's not brag about me being emo-ish I wanna be that happy kid again. April be good to me I've gotta stay strong to get through this. Missing the family I need my Mother to be here with me a shoulder to cry on. In the end all I want is a gateway. So tell me love, should I give up ? or keep chasing pavements? I don't mind letting it go because holding it on will just tear me apart to believe it .

lost & insecure

Hello Panda.

 Having bad dreams, stuck in this mix emotions.I know I can do better.
This is disappointing, but it only motivates me more to push myself and get over the mess of things I’ve made. It’s not the end, and I’m definitely not giving up.
Channeling in the frustration and anger and turning it into determination and action.
I kinda have feelings for ya, but I'm not sure it is real or was it just an illusion?
Trying hard to forget, so please just get off from my mind.

Good Night. 

keep calm & have a cupcake

 

Ain't that pictures lookin so cute huh? cupcakes always makes me happy when I'm feeling moody or when that bloody week comes attack you.Delayed this post since last week,I'm just glad today is Friday, College has been really hectic it seems that I can't even have the time to rest. There's so much things going on with my life and most of it are just terrible things, it's only the 2nd month of the year and I'm stuck in this pain misery place what a living. I've learned that life is full of changes. Some changes are good, while others are categorized as mildly traumatizing.

Not a hero.

I hope I have placed myself at the lowest level of everything that could lead to self-destruction due to selfishness, hatred, egoism, to be moderately wise woman and to be silent at the certain point. I set my self to that. And that, I hold to my principle and know these are the respect I have to start with myself too before apply to others. Isn’t hard at all to be humble.After a long hectic weeks i been through. To be away and wasn’t able to write anything, I am harassing my brain with thousand of unspoken words I could even barely sleep at night there's so many things running in my mind thinking. Trying to focus on something else, i have a box full of self arguments. This is one from the list, on how spiteful i have been to myself, my close friends and family. I've been filling up most of my time with figure out the meaning of Life and disregard the values of their existence. The feeling of i-am-not-done-torturing-myself to the max is still there. Speedy meals, less talk and more sorry. Life ain’t easy to live. Sums up those wrinkles and grey hair, they’re equally friendly and the tortured one, who else? ME.

breakaway

Hey lovelies, my 1st week of 2nd sem is pack with kitchen & service classes which is very death tiring Monday till Wednesday is like a roller coaster I don't even have time for myself Oh my this will last for 6 months I'm not sure where I can stand but with a little prayer that should work. So skip the misery part, January wasn't really a good starter for me well most of it personal matters, and coming back here will not solve the problem,the last day before boarding was the most heartbreaking moment for me I just can't stand it but I have to fight this feelings & walk away it's just too hard for me to give out the details. All I can do is focusing this 2nd sem that's it no more holding on to whatever in my mind. I'm out now, Happy February.

those kinds of feelings has been tangle up,

Today is real weird,it's just I'm having trouble sorting it all in my head. It's late nite morning here am I awake as usual can't wait to get my ass back to college I'm ready to kick ass for this semester 2 and  I know this would be a tough challenge for me I easily give up & being a failure is not what I want. So lately I haven't done anything that is productive, all I've been doing is sucking up anime drama feeling pathetic I never like to watch those kind of thing It's just the unusual me and I finish up all the episodes for 2 days Whoa I've wasted two days just like that such a waste.I'm not excited for anything, CNY is around the corner and I'm not in the mood for celebrating or gathering around the crowds.I'm asking and wonder why am I like this? have I forgotten how to cherish life.My plan to sleep early tonight, that's not gonna happen every time I sleep my mind will never stop thinking about everything I tried to stop but it seems that my mind is controlling me, Aiyah what am I crapping about at this hour. How am I suppose to sleep peacefully, when there's too many things going on lately and I've been ignoring it, seems like never happen or it was just me I'm not ready to face reality.God help me, Goodbye wonderland.