chasing pavements

I wanna go away from here, a place where nobody knows me. My past, family, friends, just need a fresh start .March has come to an end, it was a sweet bitter way to closure and taught me a lesson How am I suppose to believe a lie hold on let's not brag about me being emo-ish I wanna be that happy kid again. April be good to me I've gotta stay strong to get through this. Missing the family I need my Mother to be here with me a shoulder to cry on. In the end all I want is a gateway. So tell me love, should I give up ? or keep chasing pavements? I don't mind letting it go because holding it on will just tear me apart to believe it .

lost & insecure

Hello Panda.

 Having bad dreams, stuck in this mix emotions.I know I can do better.
This is disappointing, but it only motivates me more to push myself and get over the mess of things I’ve made. It’s not the end, and I’m definitely not giving up.
Channeling in the frustration and anger and turning it into determination and action.
I kinda have feelings for ya, but I'm not sure it is real or was it just an illusion?
Trying hard to forget, so please just get off from my mind.

Good Night. 

keep calm & have a cupcake

 

Ain't that pictures lookin so cute huh? cupcakes always makes me happy when I'm feeling moody or when that bloody week comes attack you.Delayed this post since last week,I'm just glad today is Friday, College has been really hectic it seems that I can't even have the time to rest. There's so much things going on with my life and most of it are just terrible things, it's only the 2nd month of the year and I'm stuck in this pain misery place what a living. I've learned that life is full of changes. Some changes are good, while others are categorized as mildly traumatizing.

Not a hero.

I hope I have placed myself at the lowest level of everything that could lead to self-destruction due to selfishness, hatred, egoism, to be moderately wise woman and to be silent at the certain point. I set my self to that. And that, I hold to my principle and know these are the respect I have to start with myself too before apply to others. Isn’t hard at all to be humble.After a long hectic weeks i been through. To be away and wasn’t able to write anything, I am harassing my brain with thousand of unspoken words I could even barely sleep at night there's so many things running in my mind thinking. Trying to focus on something else, i have a box full of self arguments. This is one from the list, on how spiteful i have been to myself, my close friends and family. I've been filling up most of my time with figure out the meaning of Life and disregard the values of their existence. The feeling of i-am-not-done-torturing-myself to the max is still there. Speedy meals, less talk and more sorry. Life ain’t easy to live. Sums up those wrinkles and grey hair, they’re equally friendly and the tortured one, who else? ME.

breakaway

Hey lovelies, my 1st week of 2nd sem is pack with kitchen & service classes which is very death tiring Monday till Wednesday is like a roller coaster I don't even have time for myself Oh my this will last for 6 months I'm not sure where I can stand but with a little prayer that should work. So skip the misery part, January wasn't really a good starter for me well most of it personal matters, and coming back here will not solve the problem,the last day before boarding was the most heartbreaking moment for me I just can't stand it but I have to fight this feelings & walk away it's just too hard for me to give out the details. All I can do is focusing this 2nd sem that's it no more holding on to whatever in my mind. I'm out now, Happy February.

those kinds of feelings has been tangle up,

Today is real weird,it's just I'm having trouble sorting it all in my head. It's late nite morning here am I awake as usual can't wait to get my ass back to college I'm ready to kick ass for this semester 2 and  I know this would be a tough challenge for me I easily give up & being a failure is not what I want. So lately I haven't done anything that is productive, all I've been doing is sucking up anime drama feeling pathetic I never like to watch those kind of thing It's just the unusual me and I finish up all the episodes for 2 days Whoa I've wasted two days just like that such a waste.I'm not excited for anything, CNY is around the corner and I'm not in the mood for celebrating or gathering around the crowds.I'm asking and wonder why am I like this? have I forgotten how to cherish life.My plan to sleep early tonight, that's not gonna happen every time I sleep my mind will never stop thinking about everything I tried to stop but it seems that my mind is controlling me, Aiyah what am I crapping about at this hour. How am I suppose to sleep peacefully, when there's too many things going on lately and I've been ignoring it, seems like never happen or it was just me I'm not ready to face reality.God help me, Goodbye wonderland. 

mess up or what?

Another week has past by, My holidays feel just a smudge out of whack.Class starts next week but I'm not able to attend since parents still need/miss/blah wants me to stay here so yeah a long holiday for me 2 months. But bad news is I need to retake one of the stupid subject sigh I'm really upset well I try my best again but good thing is I got flying colours for the rest subjects except french well no complains for that I will do better for this 2nd sem a lot of disappointment but oh well.  And so many things to get done before I leave and laziness is conquering me I'm just way too lazy to do everything why am I so LAZY. My sleeping schedule is totally fcuk up, slept 3am everyday which is so unhealthy and waking up noon time I wasted half of the day already,keep it up mereld by that time I'm regretting and complaining to myself just great. Enough now, I'll be back posting soon. Good Nights My fellow's!

It's complicated

A new year, Happy 2012 lovers. Another year to live life to the fullest!

Well January has been treating just "okay", I can't wait for college to reopens as much I hates study but going back there makes me feel alive But I never said that being  here is lifeless I just don't think I should be here some how. I wonder what makes me feel this way every second I thought of it, seems that I'm stuck  in confusion, sadness drowning me inside out and life is falling apart it's just hard for me to describe what exactly I have in mind, I'm always the one who's not good telling or sharing my feelings to anyone the best is to keep it to myself, and I've learned that people may seem one way to your face and act a completely different way behind your back.

I was so adamant on growing up that I focused on all the wrong things.

endtapes

Bonjour my lovelies, Sorry for ze lack of post after my 1st semester ends my schedule is pretty hectic I had so much fun to end lovely November. December is back to my hometown, Yes I'm back home on the first day of December how sweet is that. My hopes was so high getting back here will change everything but hoping too much was not a good idea quiet disappointed nothing change just same old lemo life pathetic plus I'll be doing or not going anywhere on Christmas day =(  guess Imma just spend my day eating & tumblring how sad is that Christmas is this Sunday & I have no plans at all. Please just take me away somewhere far away from here London,Paris,NY oh I must be dreaming.
I've got all the sad songs to listen but no jiggles all the way to take away the sadness but I just hope this is just a temporary feelings cause I know one day or eventually I'll find the right one to be with.
Moving on, I'm a happy kiddo. Bye for now <3

No more fun,fun,fun.

 

 

 

*Helena Beat-Foster The People* #nowplaying.

Just a quick short post won't take that long. A Normal day, nothing extraordinary to describe my Friday it was dull and raining pretty much like yesterday. Went to watch Happy Feet2 on Thursday night with friends, penguins are adowable and the movie was just nice =) . Doing Front Office Revision just now and I'm giving myself 20 minutes break yeah just hope it won't be longer than that. Dad called just now, it was nice to hear from him and knowing that he still cares for me just good to know and makes me missing him even thou we've been through a lot of drama's way back when I was still "tanam anggur" so many memories that never fades away. Life getting better and I'm lovin it! Okay, I better stop now continue my revision and enough with the fun for the weekends I will grounded myself here, Hahaha. 

GoodNights x!

Set fire to the rain.

 

Hello Gloomy Wednesday, my plan for today is doing something productive since my class is officially over but I ended up wasting my time. Woke up in the afternoon, kill my time watching Gossip Girls S4 till 2pm sadly it's getting boring was hoping for more exciting dramas from Blair & Serena but I guess everything is getting dull and bores me out. But thankfully Vampire Diaries save the day watched S3EP9 and damn I seriously can't wait for the next episode to come and obviously 10 times better than Twilight Saga! 

Final is next week, and I'm just starting revising as always the last minute person how can I change that kind of bad habit.Massive sigh, study for 1 hour and rest for more than 1hour I was in the mood of taking pictures so took some random shots around me I guess I was pretty bored now (NOT) and yet I still have the time to blog what a big disappointment. I'll continue study after this, pinky promise to myself no more distraction except the little mosque behind the hostel i don't know how long it will be on I'm just gonna blast my music with Adele's playlist.So many good music to listen these days, It really calms me down all my favourite songs are playing everywhere all I need is a long joy rides to somewhere far away from the city with my friends!

Have you know that FOSTER THE PEOPLE is coming to the city next year! I got so hype and excited when I heard the news spreading around.This is a dream come true, my wish list to see Jared Leto with my own freaking eyes this year has come true why not make another wish? ;) 

I'm sick of being sick now give me happy pills! 

That's enough for today, dear reader's enjoy your night with Pumped Up Kicks!

keep chasing pavements.

Hello weekend :)

Greeting's lovelies! How's November treating everyone so far? Well mine was pretty good I'm enjoying every bit in here.Been living here almost 6months,can't believe that I can get through all this rough times I had.
It's almost the end of my 1st semester, final exam countdown in one more week to go and  now I'm struggling myself to do my revision no more fun. It's Saturday! here am I blogging, sorry I've been ditching blogger seems that I haven't find the right time or not to care anymore. I have one assignment left to be done which is PDP fcuk that I'll finish it by tonight hopefully wanted to to it now but I get distracted by this.
I am easily distracted by anything that attracts me, how can this happen to me?
Mom said I'm a shopaholic since I stepped my feet here, which is sorta true? I can't help myself sometimes or maybe most of the times! sighs wasting money for pretty clothes/shoes/accessories oh my if daddy finds out about this I'm sure he will cut down my budget but right now I'm under rehab to not try buying anything unless if its necessary but it's almost the end of the month hopefully I can have my last shopping Christmas spree in here before going back to hometown. I'm frigging excited going back there, I miss everyone especially my grandma and my siblings no one to love anymore excpet them <3 and not to forget my crazy friends. Oh well, sometimes I'm having those homesick moments when I'm drowning myself with emotionals songs that can drag me to sadness and bler let's skip that part.
Anyways Last week was a blast, Mom came here just for a short trip with her girlfriends and I went up to meet her for sure and stayed one night around Bukit Bintang Mom decided to spent the night at a budget room seems like a creepy place to me which it is! especially the walkways and the entrance gawd I couldn't believe that place is really scary and weird people everywhere not a nice place to stay but the condition inside wasn't that bad the owner makes the place comfy. This is just my first impression living in a budget room, not a hotel or whatever you call but it's cheap and yeah don't cost a lot of money to pay anyone of you can try for once in your life =)
That's it for now, I'll be posting pictures when I have the time. I'm in a mood to study Business English. Might be going to the gym later!

Au'revoir.

HELLO NOVEMBER. Be fcuking perfect and nice.

It's all a big mess in my head and I'm getting frustrated.

Who says I'm gone, right now doing a last minute revision for tomorrow's final test. 

What's new? college life is totally a big change in my life,I'm tired, exhausted, yet motivated and feeling ambitious all at the same time.You know those days when you first hear your alarm and your eyes open, and as soon as your eyes open you realize what a horrific day it's going to be? Yea, had me one of those today.

Oh well it's the end of October, and November comes. <3 I'll be back with more updates!

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21) Good-natured optimist… Doesn’twant to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome)..Indulges self.   Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing.. Doesn’t like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient…. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends.. Flirtatious. Doesn’t like rules… Sometimes hypocritical.. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn’t like being doubted..beautiful inside and out

I think too much.

Hello dear reader's, Mid-term is finally over I was a bit disappointed with my french paper result but oh well I will do my best in final exams.There's a lot of things I should be doing right now but I'm just way too lazy to do it there's a pile of assignments that need to be pass up next week and I have to memorize a long script for F.O.M test. I've been thinking a lot of none sense which end up making me feel sad why does it has to be like this ugh here it goes again. I felt terrible the past few weeks, but thankfully I have a good friends to cheer me up :) and I miss my girls so much I can't wait to meet one of them soon! I feel fat, wait I am I should start exercise and stop eating like a machine wait right now I'm craving for yoyo drink! My saturday was dull Woke up at noon and clean my messy dusty room and I haven't do the laundry yet I am lazy all the time bad habits. Oh well, I'm out of words PDP assignments not done yet! sigh.
Have a Blessed Sunday loves. Nights!

xoxo

lost in the dark, where's the light?

I know it's been awhile and I'm sorry! Right now it is exactly 2:48 am and I have yet to fall asleep. I'm debating on whether or not I have insomnia since I have not had a proper sleep in over four days. So rather than sit here and curse my never ending thoughts, I decided to put myself to good use and write a post! And Greeting lovelies! Any great plans for the Raya Holidays? since I'm not going back to my hometown I'll be going somewhere out from selangor. This week was quite rough for me, there's up and down and mostly down can't complain my life has been always treating like this not a single things change.After what feels like a week of terrible I couldn't hold on everything in here I feel blocked and I just can’t translate what I’m thinking or feeling into these posts.

monday class.

Just a quick update about today. Well today was my first day of class in KDU. It was okay, all we do is introducing ourselves and blah blah blah. Class starts at 8am and ended at 5pm, And each subject held for 2hours so damn long I can't even focusing what the lecturer talking about and the aircond makes me sleepy how great is that! HaHa And Finally I have at least 1 sabahan friend in my course or else i'll be solo and we have to do presentation about "Sabah"! Everything went good, I just love it here that's it.sorry if there's any grammar error i'm not feeling well after the class I guess I'm sick =( massive Sigh.
And oh Happy Birthday to My beloved Daddy!♥

I've got nothing much to brag

First Post for July, Back in Action. Life treating me good these days =) This place makes me feels alive and Yeah guys I got a "LIFE" now, not gonna flashback what I've done where back when I'm such a lazy ass person, I have to say I made the right decision thank you God for all your blessings and guiding me getting through all this misery. Let's start a new chapter of Life =)
And Oh orientation was great, I just can't wait to get my student ID card because I can't get in to the hostel without it, I guess the guard get annoyed with me asking for the "card" everyday.  Hopefully I can get a nice place to stay and cheap I suppose! HeHe!! Well as for now,I'm just gonna live here.
Bye Love. Sleep Tite

uh huh you know what it is.

Heeeeeeeey Owls, Finally I'm back here in KL well so far things are going great came here with my aunt, I'm all Alone after they helped me moved in to KDU hostel last Saturday, I can't picture how this place look like at first and of course i didn't hope for a nice comfy place.oh well  just appreciate what I have right? at least i have a place to live now, everything is all locked up feels like living in a  prison but it's for our safety :) Orientation starts next week can't wait!! This place is so Ghetto, I see nigger everywhere. HAHAHA.

 Bye, Have a blessed Wednesday! =)