those kinds of feelings has been tangle up,

Today is real weird,it's just I'm having trouble sorting it all in my head. It's late nite morning here am I awake as usual can't wait to get my ass back to college I'm ready to kick ass for this semester 2 and  I know this would be a tough challenge for me I easily give up & being a failure is not what I want. So lately I haven't done anything that is productive, all I've been doing is sucking up anime drama feeling pathetic I never like to watch those kind of thing It's just the unusual me and I finish up all the episodes for 2 days Whoa I've wasted two days just like that such a waste.I'm not excited for anything, CNY is around the corner and I'm not in the mood for celebrating or gathering around the crowds.I'm asking and wonder why am I like this? have I forgotten how to cherish life.My plan to sleep early tonight, that's not gonna happen every time I sleep my mind will never stop thinking about everything I tried to stop but it seems that my mind is controlling me, Aiyah what am I crapping about at this hour. How am I suppose to sleep peacefully, when there's too many things going on lately and I've been ignoring it, seems like never happen or it was just me I'm not ready to face reality.God help me, Goodbye wonderland. 

mess up or what?

Another week has past by, My holidays feel just a smudge out of whack.Class starts next week but I'm not able to attend since parents still need/miss/blah wants me to stay here so yeah a long holiday for me 2 months. But bad news is I need to retake one of the stupid subject sigh I'm really upset well I try my best again but good thing is I got flying colours for the rest subjects except french well no complains for that I will do better for this 2nd sem a lot of disappointment but oh well.  And so many things to get done before I leave and laziness is conquering me I'm just way too lazy to do everything why am I so LAZY. My sleeping schedule is totally fcuk up, slept 3am everyday which is so unhealthy and waking up noon time I wasted half of the day already,keep it up mereld by that time I'm regretting and complaining to myself just great. Enough now, I'll be back posting soon. Good Nights My fellow's!

It's complicated

A new year, Happy 2012 lovers. Another year to live life to the fullest!

Well January has been treating just "okay", I can't wait for college to reopens as much I hates study but going back there makes me feel alive But I never said that being  here is lifeless I just don't think I should be here some how. I wonder what makes me feel this way every second I thought of it, seems that I'm stuck  in confusion, sadness drowning me inside out and life is falling apart it's just hard for me to describe what exactly I have in mind, I'm always the one who's not good telling or sharing my feelings to anyone the best is to keep it to myself, and I've learned that people may seem one way to your face and act a completely different way behind your back.

I was so adamant on growing up that I focused on all the wrong things.